Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Why are you in a Relationship if you are not having Sex?

Dr. Neill Neill, a psychologist and author, presents that “relationships are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We learned the rudiments of love and connection. All of this was essential to our being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy…
The first problem is, we are ready for sexual intimacy long before our brains are mature enough to handle true intimacy and connection. The second problem is in part cultural. Twenty-somethings who enter into a long-term commitment often assume that since they are adults, they won’t change. They don’t understand that personal change and growth will continue throughout life. And many a relationship has ended because at least one has changed.

However, this seemingly universal problem has a silver lining. When both grasp the fact that personal change comes with the territory of a long-term relationship, they can learn to go with the flow. They can support one another in their growth and transformation.”
In Christianity, God gives three mandates for Christian marriage: to reflect, reign, and reproduce.

According to the Quran, most forms of sexual contact within a marriage are allowed. Sex is considered a pleasurable, even spiritual activity, and a duty. At least one hadith explicitly states that for a married couple to have sex is a good deed rewarded by God. Another hadith suggests that a man should not leave the proverbial bed until the woman is satisfied, a reference many say points to orgasm. Adultery warrants severe punishment. Pre-marital sex is also considered sinful, albeit less severe. All shari'a laws regulating sexual conduct apply to both men and women equally.

The Baha'i understanding of sex is that chastity should be practiced by both sexes before marriage because it is commendable ethically and that it leads to a happy and successful marital life. The Bahá'í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but that its proper use is within the institution of marriage; Baha'is do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control

The most common formulation of Buddhist ethics are the Five Precepts and the Noble Eightfold Path, which say that one should neither be attached to nor crave sensual pleasure. These precepts take the form of voluntary, personal undertakings, not divine mandate or instruction. Of the Five Precepts, Brahmacharya vow is to refrain from sex outside marriage
In Hinduism, sexual variance was seen as a creative expression and was not expressly discouraged. It was in many cases encouraged as part of a human soul's need to experience/comprehend the multifariousness that the world has to offer. However, celibacy, sexual regulation and sexual abstinence (apart from regulation of other worldly desires) was recommended for those who would prefer a faster, less complicated and a proven path to liberation. Note that any act of sex between consenting adults is not inherently sinful: being attached to sex might merely delay your 'liberation'; in that sense sex is as much impedance as amassing wealth, anger, attachment to one's kin or any other worldly pursuits, including intellectual pursuits.

Neopagan beliefs, have the theme of fertility as central to their practices, and as such encourage what they view as a healthy sex life, consensual sex between adults, regardless of gender or age.

In Satanism, Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent.
So, since almost all beliefs recognize and respect sex, what are you doing in a relationship if you are not having sex?


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