Dr. Neill Neill, a psychologist and author, presents that “relationships
are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first
relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those
growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could
communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We
learned the rudiments of love and connection. All of this was essential to our
being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to
seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy…
The first problem is, we are ready for sexual intimacy long
before our brains are mature enough to handle true intimacy and connection. The
second problem is in part cultural. Twenty-somethings who enter into a
long-term commitment often assume that since they are adults, they won’t
change. They don’t understand that personal change and growth will continue
throughout life. And many a relationship has ended because at least one has
changed.
However, this seemingly universal problem has a silver
lining. When both grasp the fact that personal change comes with the territory
of a long-term relationship, they can learn to go with the flow. They can
support one another in their growth and transformation.”
In Christianity, God gives three mandates for Christian
marriage: to reflect, reign, and reproduce.
According to the Quran, most forms of sexual contact within
a marriage are allowed. Sex is considered a pleasurable, even spiritual activity,
and a duty. At least one hadith explicitly states that for a married couple to
have sex is a good deed rewarded by God. Another hadith suggests that a man
should not leave the proverbial bed until the woman is satisfied, a reference
many say points to orgasm. Adultery warrants severe punishment. Pre-marital sex is also
considered sinful, albeit less severe. All shari'a laws regulating sexual
conduct apply to both men and women equally.
The Baha'i understanding of sex is that chastity should be practiced
by both sexes before marriage because it is commendable ethically and that it
leads to a happy and successful marital life. The Bahá'í Faith recognizes the
value of the sex impulse, but that its proper use is within the institution of
marriage; Baha'is do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in
its regulation and control
The most common formulation of Buddhist ethics are the Five
Precepts and the Noble Eightfold Path, which say that one should neither be
attached to nor crave sensual pleasure. These precepts take the form of
voluntary, personal undertakings, not divine mandate or instruction. Of the
Five Precepts, Brahmacharya vow is to refrain from sex outside marriage
In Hinduism, sexual variance was seen as a creative
expression and was not expressly discouraged. It was in many cases encouraged
as part of a human soul's need to experience/comprehend the multifariousness
that the world has to offer. However, celibacy, sexual regulation and sexual
abstinence (apart from regulation of other worldly desires) was recommended for
those who would prefer a faster, less complicated and a proven path to
liberation. Note that any act of sex between consenting adults is not
inherently sinful: being attached to sex might merely delay your 'liberation';
in that sense sex is as much impedance as amassing wealth, anger, attachment to
one's kin or any other worldly pursuits, including intellectual pursuits.
Neopagan beliefs, have the theme of fertility as central to
their practices, and as such encourage what they view as a healthy sex life,
consensual sex between adults, regardless of gender or age.
In Satanism, Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that
should only be freely entered into with consent.
So, since almost all beliefs recognize and respect sex, what
are you doing in a relationship if you are not having sex?
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