College Girls Prefer to Be Married by Age 30

The results were part of the "Ultimate College Girl Survey“, conducted online by Her Campus Media, the parent company of HerCampus.com (an online community for college women). Nearly 2,600 college women from 677 different colleges and universities took the survey, representing the classes of 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 almost equally.

Of the respondents, 85.1 percent said that they'd like to be married by age 30. Specifically, 46.5 percent said they'd like to get married between age 25 and 27; 20.9 percent said they'd like to tie the knot between 28-30; and 17.1 percent want to walk down the aisle by their 25th birthdays.

"We were not surprised with the finding that college women want to be married by 30, because we've seen over and over again how important planning is to today's educated young women," Stephanie Kaplan, HerCampus Co-Founder, CEO & Editor-in-Chief, tells HealthySELF.

"Even while they're still in college, they're looking to the future and thinking about grad school, careers and creating a family, and mapping out how they want to get there and when," Kaplan adds. "Since education and career are so important to today's young women, it makes sense that so many of them identified 30 as their 'target' marriage deadline, whereas I would expect that women in generations past would have identified an earlier age."

Indeed, historian Stephanie Coontz, faculty member at The Evergreen State College, Director of Research and Public Education for the Council on Contemporary Families and author of Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage, says that the survey results "represent a huge shift" in the mindset of young women, historically speaking.

"After all, back in 1960, half of all women were married by the time they were 20," says Coontz. The ideal was to get married sooner rather than later, she says: "If you were getting a B.A. and had the chance to get an 'MRS' degree, that was what you went for!"

Coontz says there was a serious concern that if you weren't married by the time you were 24, you might -- gasp! -- never get married. "The anxiety to get married, even if it meant not getting an education, was much so much stronger, even as recently as the mid-'60s," says Coontz.

By contrast, Coontz says 30 is a reasonable time frame in the minds of college women today, because that allows enough time for them to complete their education, make strides in a meaningful career and spend time with their spouses before their biological clocks start kicking in. "Those considerations just were not in the forefront of women's minds even 50 years ago," she says.

According to Coontz, the average age of marriage for women today is 26, but that average includes a much wider-spread range of ages than in the past. It's much more likely today, she says, that a college-educated woman could marry for the first time at 40.

So why are so many young women still dead-set on a wedding by 30? "Today's college women want it all -- and I mean that in a good way," Kaplan says. "They want the prestigious degrees, the dream job and the dream life, which for the vast majority of them includes marriage and kids."

Ah yes, back to that biological clock... when asked by Her Campus about starting a family, 76.8 percent of respondents said that they wanted to have children "at some point" in the future, while 17.2 percent said they weren't sure. About 40 percent said that they'd like to have their first child between age 28-30, while 28.1 percent said that they were open to starting a family during their 30s.

But there's never been a better time to NOT be married by 30. Not only are more women having kids well into their 30s and beyond, being a single woman is just plain fun. Plus, Coontz says, if women do postpone marriage to get an education, they are as likely to marry as any other group of women, more likely to marry than less educated women and much more likely to stay married than any other group of women.

"I really don't think there's much cultural stigma about being unmarried after 30, or even after 40, ESPECIALLY for women, oddly enough," she says. "Back in the 1950s and early 1960s, women often 'settled' for someone they didn't really love because they were so afraid of missing the 'deadline.' Very few women do that nowadays."

Adopted from Self.com

Why are you in a Relationship if you are not having Sex?

Dr. Neill Neill, a psychologist and author, presents that “relationships are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We learned the rudiments of love and connection. All of this was essential to our being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy…

The first problem is, we are ready for sexual intimacy long before our brains are mature enough to handle true intimacy and connection. The second problem is in part cultural. Twenty-somethings who enter into a long-term commitment often assume that since they are adults, they won’t change. They don’t understand that personal change and growth will continue throughout life. And many a relationship has ended because at least one has changed.

However, this seemingly universal problem has a silver lining. When both grasp the fact that personal change comes with the territory of a long-term relationship, they can learn to go with the flow. They can support one another in their growth and transformation.”

In Christianity, God gives three mandates for Christian marriage: to reflect, reign, and reproduce.

According to the Quran, most forms of sexual contact within a marriage are allowed. Sex is considered a pleasurable, even spiritual activity, and a duty. At least one hadith explicitly states that for a married couple to have sex is a good deed rewarded by God. Another hadith suggests that a man should not leave the proverbial bed until the woman is satisfied, a reference many say points to orgasm. Adultery warrants severe punishment. Pre-marital sex is also considered sinful, albeit less severe. All shari'a laws regulating sexual conduct apply to both men and women equally.

The Baha'i understanding of sex is that chastity should be practiced by both sexes before marriage because it is commendable ethically and that it leads to a happy and successful marital life. The Bahá'í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but that its proper use is within the institution of marriage; Baha'is do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control

The most common formulation of Buddhist ethics are the Five Precepts and the Noble Eightfold Path, which say that one should neither be attached to nor crave sensual pleasure. These precepts take the form of voluntary, personal undertakings, not divine mandate or instruction. Of the Five Precepts, Brahmacharya vow is to refrain from sex outside marriage

In Hinduism, sexual variance was seen as a creative expression and was not expressly discouraged. It was in many cases encouraged as part of a human soul's need to experience/comprehend the multifariousness that the world has to offer. However, celibacy, sexual regulation and sexual abstinence (apart from regulation of other worldly desires) was recommended for those who would prefer a faster, less complicated and a proven path to liberation. Note that any act of sex between consenting adults is not inherently sinful: being attached to sex might merely delay your 'liberation'; in that sense sex is as much impedance as amassing wealth, anger, attachment to one's kin or any other worldly pursuits, including intellectual pursuits.

Neopagan beliefs, have the theme of fertility as central to their practices, and as such encourage what they view as a healthy sex life, consensual sex between adults, regardless of gender or age.

In Satanism, Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent.

So, since almost all beliefs recognize and respect sex, what are you doing in a relationship if you are not having sex?

Do Women Love Rough Sex?

Is it true that women love rough sex and want their men to be in control during sex?

According to a survey carried out in South Africa in 2012, 54% of the women who participated in the survey said they loved it rough, they also wanted to be dominated during sex as long as their partners (men in this case) made them feel good in the whole exercise. They said that they felt turned on more when their men did everything to satisfy them. Selfish men who played rough for their own pleasure were a huge turn off as the women felt used.

The same survey revealed that women love to have sex in the night before sleeping, 55% said they prefer to have sex 3 times a week. His arms followed by his shoulders and butt 32% turned her on.

76% percent of the women said that emotional connection was number one in their list of how to be pleased followed by oral sex at 62%. 32% said they tried anal sex at least once and 12% enjoyed it.

Sexually satisfied Women are better managers..!

Good Sex and Good Mood

In an Arizona State University study on 58 middle-aged women, physical affection or sexual behavior with a partner significantly predicted lower negative mood and stress, and higher positive mood the following day. Simply put, researchers found that sex and physical intimacy led women to feel less stressed and be in a better mood the next day. These results weren’t found when women had orgasms without a partner. This would translate to better productivity at the work place

Good Mood and Good Sex

The same study found that being in a good mood predicted more physical affection and sexual activity with a partner the next day, showing that the sex-stress management connection works both ways: sex can lead you to feel less stressed, and being less stressed or better mood can lead to more sex. Further proof of the importance of effective stress management!

Sex and Blood Pressure

Another study examined participants’ blood pressure as a measure of their stress responses during public speaking or challenging math problems—situations that often elicit stress. It was found that those who had recently had intercourse tended to have either lower baseline blood pressures, less of a blood pressure rise during stressful events, or both. These findings suggest that having sex can lead to less of a stress response during challenging situations, which is a good thing.

Sex and Stress Response

Along those lines, another study looked at women’s heart rate and cortisol levels as a measure of stress response, and found that women exhibited less of a stress response after ‘positive physical contact’ with a partner. Emotional support alone didn’t have the same effect.

Orgasm and Health

Orgasm itself has many benefits for health and stress relief. Aside from these scientific findings, sex has some obvious stress management components. In addition to effectively taking your mind off of your worries for a decent period of time, sex provides some of these other stress management benefits.

Know your Woman....

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it
When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

Sex Worker Dies After Having Sex with Monkey...

Cynthia, a sex worker in Lusaka Zambia was picked for the night by a gentleman in a top of the range car. The guy looked “fly” and they went to have fun. On reaching his apartment, she was offered $2000 to have sex with her suitor’s monkey; the instruction was to engage in oral, anal and vaginal sex. At first she did not want to do it, but on a second thought and after the gentleman agreed to increase the pay by $500, she agree to do it: after all it’s just a matter of 5 to 10 minutes job, so she thought.

She was dropped to her place after a job well done and paid handsomely. She developed complications later, was admitted to the local hospital with complications in the abdomen. She died two days later. 

40-Year Old Woman to Marry Son 23 in Zimbabwe..

Adapted from Zimbabwe Mail

A 40-year-old Zimbabwean woman and mother is set to marry her own son and the pair claim to be very much in love with each other. And now they want to take their relationship to the next level and get married considering that the mother, Betty Mbereko (from Mwenezi in Masvingo) is now six months pregnant and expecting her son’s child and her grandchild.

Mbereko, 40, has been a widow for the past 12 years and has been living with her 23-years-old son Farai Mbereko.

She confirms that she is six month pregnant and that she has decided it is better to “marry” her son because she does not want to marry her late husband’s young brothers, whom she says are coveting her.

Betty stunned a village court last week when she said the affair with her son had begun three years earlier.

She said after spending a lot of money sending Farai to school following the death of her husband, she felt she had a right to his money and no other woman was entitled to it.

 “Look, I strove alone to send my son to school and no one helped me. Now you see that my son is working and you accuse me of doing something wrong.

 “Let me enjoy the products of my sweat,” she told the village court council.

 Farai said he was more than prepared to marry his mother and would pay off the ilobola balance his father had left unpaid to his grandparents.

 “I know my father died before he finished paying the bride price and I am prepared to pay it off,” he said. “It is better to publicise what is happening because people should know that I am the one who made my mother pregnant.

Otherwise they will accuse her of promiscuity.” But local headman Nathan Muputirwa says: “We cannot allow this to happen in our village, mashura chaiwo aya, (This is a bad omen indeed). In the past they would have to be killed but today we cannot do it because we are afraid of the police.”

He warned them to immediately break off their marriage or leave his village. They chose the latter and have since left the village for an undisclosed destination.

Zimbawe Mail

Prostitute earns Ksh. 20,000 from Preacher...

A preacher with an evangelical church in Nakuru town was shocked when a prostitute he picked up for sex told him she was a member of his congregation.

The preacher, 56, picked the woman at around midnight last Friday before driving off with her in his car.

The woman said after they ‘transacted business’ in his posh car she revealed to him that she was a member of his church and he was shaken and pleaded with her not to expose him to other members of the church.

The lady of the night said she got an extra Sh20,000 up from the Sh500 so as to keep her mouth shut. The prostitute said the preacher was a regular customer and normally conducts the ‘ business’ 

Woman marries two men in Kenya...

Mombasa, Kenya:

Two men who discovered that they had been dating the same woman for the past four years decided on Sunday, August 25, 2013 to stop their infighting and agreed to ‘share’ the woman without any more fights between them.

Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani from Kisauni, Mombasa County, signed a written contract last week after realizing they have both been having an affair with the same woman for more than four years.

According to the contract, the men will take turns to stay with the woman, who is a widow with two kids. They agreed to stop fighting one another and to help raise their lover’s children.

The men signed the deal after the woman failed to make a choice between them she does not wish to be identified said she could not live without either of the men.

Mwendwa claimed he went to the woman's parents and was given permission to live with her and pay bride price when he was ready. Kimani, was also allowed to live with her and pay the bride price when ready.

While polygamy - one man having more than one wife - is legal in Kenya and widely practiced by various communities, polyandry - one woman having more than one husband - is almost unheard of.

Mwendwa, a butcher in a local butchery is said to have been fired by his employer following this rare incidence.

Meanwhile, the polyandrous woman has finally come out in public to sue media houses for defaming her.

14 year old School girl delivers triplets

Bungoma, Kenya:

A 14 year old primary school girl delivered triplets in a hospital in the western town of Bungoma, Kenya. The girl whose attempt to get married to her 16 year old school-dropout boyfriend failed after he disappeared is now seeking well-wishers to help her raise the children. Doctors at Bungoma District Hospital say mother and babies are doing well

How I want him.....

I want him to follow me when I walk away from him mad.
I want him to kiss me when I stare at his lips.
I want him to grab me and don’t let go when I push him.
I want him to ask me what’s wrong when I’m quiet.
I want him to give me his attention when I ignore him.
I want him to pull me back when I pull away.
I want him to tell me I’m beautiful when he sees me at my worst.
I want him to hold me without talking when he sees me crying.
I want him to sneak up and hug my waist from behind when he sees me walking.
I want him to protect me when I’m scared.
I want him to tilt my head back and kiss me when I lay my head on his shoulder.
I want him to reassure me that everything’s ok when I don’t answer for a long time.
I want him to tell me the truth when I look at him with doubt.
I want him to play with my fingers when I grab his hands.
I want him not to look away when I look him in the eyes.
I want him to know that the pain never goes away when he breaks my heart.
I want him to know that I still want him to be mine even when I say it’s over.
I want him to call me when he knows that something’s bothering me.
I want him to say to me that he loves me more than I can ever love him.
I want him to hug me tight when I’m mad.
I want him not to believe me when I say I’m ok and to stay with me and talk.
I want him to call me at 12AM on my birthday and say that he loves me and that he’s glad I was born.
I want him to stay on the phone even if I’m not saying anything.
I want him to call me before he goes to sleep and after he wakes up.
I want him to treat me like I’m all that matters to him.
I want him to let me wear his clothes.
I want him to let me know that I’m important.
I want him to give me the world.
I want him to point his finger on me and say: She’s the one.

From our inbox...

"Last weekend, I met two guys at a bar when I went out for a drink after work. They were both friends and they were hitting on me the entire night, which turned me on a lot. I knew that they wanted to take me home and fuck me, but I was not going to do that…not that night. So, I played a little game with them. I told them that I would make them both cum at the same time. They doubted me, but I knew that I could do it. I asked them both to sit on either side of me in the booth that we occupied. I then told them to unzip their pants and show me their cocks. I then grabbed both of their dicks, one in each hand, and started masturbating them simultaneously. I started slowly, but built up speed with my hand. It took only a few minutes before they both exploded all over my hands. The man to my left grabbed my tits as he came and it made me smile knowing that I had them both spurting their cum in a public place. After they both came, I simply wiped my hands off with a few napkins and left them their stunned. I have to do this again, OMG, it was so much fun!"

A to Z of making a girl smile . . . . .

A to Z of making a girl smile . . . . .

*A . Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy)
*B . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
*C . Kiss her on the forehead.
*D . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
*E . Always tell her you love her every second of the day.
*F . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
*G . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
*H . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
*I . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
*J . Write her notes. (she loves them)
*K . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.
*L . Play with her hair.
*M . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.
*N . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
*O . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.
*P . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
*Q. Carve your names into a tree.
*R . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
*S . Give her piggyback rides.
*T . Bring her flowers just because.
*U . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
*V . Look her in the eyes and smile.
*W . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
*X . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
*Y . Kiss her in the rain.
*Z . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

No one's ever too busy...

No matter how busy someone is, if they love you and care they will find a way to make time for you. Even the smallest text message or quickest phone call can say a thousand words!

Where sex workers play ‘wife’

Article by Harold Ayodo as posted on The Standard on Monday, September 10th 2012

They come in all shapes, sizes and age groups. A classy one will set you back Sh200, but in some places like Kondele, you can cough Sh50 walk away with a bamba 50 — especially at dawn.

Men who do not want to use protection pay double, never mind that at 15 per cent, the HIV and Aids prevalence in Kisumu doubles the national average, which, according to a 2009 survey by Unhabitat, is 6.3 per cent.

Kutuma salamu (a euphemism for giving head) costs only Sh20 in Kondele and Sh100 in higher-end red light spots. Most of the bamba 50s come wearing bathroom slippers, but they are adored because they are pocket friendly.

There are a few who do not accept cash, but appreciate?stewed fish by the lakeside before few rounds of affordable drinks at pubs that offer live bands playing Ohangla, Rumba or Benga music.

Some even offer credit services and ‘invoice’ their clients at the end of the month, unlike their peers on Koinange Street, Nairobi, who insist on payment before service. Other men even pay after mutually agreed periods, either via cash or mobile phone money transfer.

Others are nearly ‘married’ to clients as they even cook, wash and iron for their regular male clients who pay handsomely — say Sh300 a night.

 Affordable

It could be coincidence that men in Kisumu generally marry later than those in other towns, as recently revealed by the Kenya Urban Reproductive Health Baseline Survey. But the possibility that this trend arises because sex workers are affordable and offer ‘extras’ cannot be ignored.

A tour of some of the popular red areas along Oginga Odinga Street, Ogada Street, Kisumu beer belt (near the bus park), Wayside and Kondele tells the story of a town a awash with sex workers. In fact, the opening of new clubs within the Central Business District has also boosted an already flooded market.

On a dry day at the beer belt, Anyango, for instance, is ready to spend the night with a male client who can buy her bottle of beer and give her Sh50 as boda boda ‘fare’ at dawn citing a bad economy and too much supply.?

“Kiwanja siku hizi imejaa, kupata wanaume wanatoa mia ni balaa (the market is nowadays so flooded that men who can pay Sh100 are rare,” Anyango says.

However, chief executive officers, corporate managers and other professionals who prefer secrecy are called mbuta (big fish) as they hire expensive hotel rooms and guesthouses.

“Mbuta are good because they can even leave you with Sh1,000 as long as you keep your mouth shut. They prefer afternoon week day services,” Anyango reveals.

According to Anyango, they have now been forced to offer extra services to bachelors and widowers to remain relevant in the market. Other hot cakes are married men and those who work in Kisumu but whose families reside in other towns or rural areas. For Sh100, says, the services must go beyond the sheets arguing that cooking, house cleaning makes men take us for even five days a week because they are assured of good food and a sparkling house.

And like impeccable businesses whose advertising is by word of mouth, she says that word spreads like bushfire among drinking partners on how some of them are good even in the kitchen drawing many repeat clients.

Stomach

For Nafula, the understanding that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach is paramount.

“I pass by either Kibuye or Oile Market to buy fish and vegetables to cook for the client before my main duty,” Nafula says.

But Nafula says business is so bad at times that some men — especially from Nairobi and Mombasa — take three women at Sh300 a night.

“Men from Nairobi and Mombasa claim we are cheaper compared to their towns where our peers charge Sh1,000 for 25 minutes,” Nafula opines.

She says that some of her colleagues, who hate parking on red light streets at night, masquerade as mama nguo (laundry women) during the day.

“We know all our clients well. Some want us in their houses during the day to wash and hang their clothes to fool the neighbours,” Nafula says.

Nafula explains that their peers who perform domestic chores as some form of ‘after sale service’ have been christened ‘wives’. Being a ‘ wife’ or door-to-door flesh trader, she says, is better as you are also assured of preparing and sharing good meals with clients.

“Some men are good to the extent that they send money by phone on Friday afternoon to cater for food and services over the weekend,” she says.

Stress

 

To underscore the fact that they are professionals at the top of their game, Nafula says, “We understand the meals they like and prepare them to perfection. We also try not to be nosy and ask many questions so as not to stress clients the way their girlfriends and wives do.”

Anyango and Nafula concur that married men who are teetotalers are also hot cakes, as they do not spend a lot of money drinking till dawn. “Married men have to finish with us chap chap (fast) as they must go back home early. And they never shower with the small lodging soaps in fear that their wives will catch the odd scent. They only rinse themselves in water and dash out. They are also good day clients before we spend evenings with troublesome drunkards,” Nafula says, laughing.

For the men, the emerging crop of sex workers is a godsend. “For only Sh300, I can sort myself at home, have my food cooked, house cleaned and clothes washed and ironed without stress,” says Tony, a bachelor. According to Tony, being in relationships is expensive yet the woman you are going out with may still cheat on you anyway.

“The budget of treating a girlfriend from Friday to Sunday can hit Sh15,000 as you will be drinking and eating all meals out yet the costly girlfriend will not even touch your clothes for fear of messing up her manicured nails.I would, therefore, rather spend Sh5,000 on drinks with the boys from Friday to Sunday and summon a hook up to sort me out, cook, clean, wash and iron at Sh300,” Tony argues.

According to the bachelor, most of the service providers in the lakeside city are ‘disciplined’, unlike their counterparts in other major towns.

“The ones in Kisumu can be left in the house and the worst they will do is cook, clean and listen to loud music,” he says.

For Apollo, who is also single, the service providers are a treat because they are not jealous and understand when you alternate them from Friday to Sunday.

“At times, I pick two at a go because one knows how to cook good food and the other does the laundry well,” Apollo says.

But as the flesh trade evolves into a more customer-centred enterprise to lure clientele, authorities have also stepped up their crackdown on commercial sex workers.

Recently, over 20 of them were arrested on a Sunday night in a joint raid between police officers and Municipal Council askaris.

The arrests came weeks after the council askaris nabbed more than 70 women in a similar operation in streets and brothels in the town and arraigned in the Kisumu Municipal Court where each was fined Sh1,000 for loitering.

Begin your day with love...

If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also? bring them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny draws across your path that day.